a splash of creativity

In the last two weeks I managed to add two brand new chapters to the fanfiction I'm writing. I honestly don't know how it happened. The ideas came to me so suddenly that I had to write them down as fast as I could. Maybe I could say that it doesn't happen very often, but that's not true. The thing is, I'm usually too lazy to actually take my ideas to a whole new level. Which is a thing of mine that I'm desperately trying to change, mainly because I feel that I am the one standing in my own way. And there is nothing more frustrating than that. But why does this happen? I can't put a finger on it, but if I really had to, I would say is the ridiculous (!!) fear I have of not being good enough at whatever I'm about to do, powerfully allied with chronic laziness. But we all deal with fear, don't we? Even the toughest among us must be afraid of failing at some point. That's something we all face eventually. So, it's not really a valid excuse to say that you are afraid to create something or to try something new, is it? Worst case scenario, things won't work out the way you planned, but you will be able to improve once you find the courage to start again. But fear can act both as a catalizer and a paralyser. I find that very odd. But it's part of growing up, I guess. You learn how to feel more comfortable in your own skin and that includes overcoming situations that you had never imagined yourself in. Or maybe you had imagined yourself dealing with certain situations in a more graceful way, but never actually believed you could do it. It's so weird how we limit ourselves sometimes. Even in the simplest, most innocent details. We don't need to be perfect. It's legit to want to change something about ourselves - I have yet to know anyone who doesn't. But perfection is not something that should be on the life checklist, or else we would all drive ourselves insane trying to do the impossible. And thus, my fear of not being perfect at everything I do is completely irrational and unjustified. But I'm working on it. I'm trying to be less lazy and get things done here, in this same dimension and not only in my head. 

Like a dear friend told me today, you can create your own opportunities. Don't let fear keep you from doing it. 

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